Haunted Chp 8

Chapter 8

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The court case was a memory of Objections! and a gavel banging loud on the surface as my husband made a mockery of the court in every way he could to prove his insanity. He was insane all right but he did not belong in the insane asylum. I refused to go on the stand at first afraid that anything I said would benefit his defense as I watched helplessly while he tossed papers and overturned desks causing the witnesses turned audience to gasp and lean back in their seats while others looked away on reflex.

Try as they might but they could not turn away really from the scene of the monster that was responsible for the deaths of fifteen women. I'd waited the coward had killed some of the women in the woods I'd seen. A restriction in my chest, tightness in my jaw, and pulsing pain in my temple did not leave me in the days of the court case or the days that followed due to my undeniable guilt. The fact that I had allowed him to do this just because I feared him made me feel weak.

It took an entire trial to realize he was not omnipresent. He was not a force he was just one weak man that beat raped and killed women. He was Just a real life monster.

Death threats came every day of the trial. Some were depictions of what was meant to be me in odd positions of torture. Others were letters telling me I was to "die bitch" in various ways because I "allowed" him to be and wouldn't testify. They were all true and false. My soon to be ex husband was allowed to do a lot of things but I had no idea he was this vile.

I hesitated, sure but I was worth something! The notebook coming into evidence was unexpected.

"You didn't think something like this would implicate you in an investigation?" The worn detective I'd learned was called Stubs asked in a way that made me feel small.

"I just wanted him to believe I was okay with it. I wanted to live," I hugged my body close wrapping my arms tight looking over at the corner away from him. His eyes were intense and judgmental.

"So you left it there to fool him, great. We need you to go on stand and say that. You have to not only prove your innocence but also attest to the fact those women were seen in the woods," He leaned closer and I could feel his stare on the side of my face.

"I will do this but I don't want him to ever know where I am. I want to go somewhere far with a new name. I want protective custody," I turned my face toward him and he leaned back in his seat, "it doesn't matter if I am telling the truth or not. These people here will never forgive me for what happened to their family and I do not blame them."

He looked taken aback momentarily and opened his mouth before quickly closing it and nodding to himself. The silence in the conference room was broken only by the "tock tock" of the clock hand moving. I turned my head back to look up at the circular silver shape of it. Everything in the office was plain and basic. I fit right in.

"Fine. We'll work something out but you've got to tell your side of the story. They need to know what he did and not just what the bodies tell us," He leaned over on the desk separating us and I stared into his eyes momentarily before nodding.

So it was. A painful retelling of my abuse and what I saw in the woods. My state of mind and when I actually knew in comparison to when the crimes had occurred. The lawyers wanted to know everything about anything to do with my marriage and they picked apart every aspect of his time away from the home.

I left everything in the house after the verdict. He would sit on death row waiting for the day they finally made him pay his due and I was okay with knowing that. Gone was the delusional woman that fell for him at the beach and I decided to leave her and all of her fucked up past.

The mountains were the biggest adjustment to the move. The driver taking me to my designated abode whipped around them expertly at a speed that caused me to squirm in my seat. I tipped him generously from the money I earned selling the land and property in my divorce.

The judges were forced to expedite the proceedings so that my new alias was untraceable and free to live a untethered life. Free to be a psychologist and use my degree as an intern at a location that promised to hire me on if If I "worked real hard."

The world worked on and days passed by without much to account for as life always does.

Insert Her.

The fabulous and wonderful woman that captured my heart with flowers and communication and consistency. It was so beautiful it hurt. It was too much at first and so much to learn and unlearn from the past and have I really removed myself from it?

Doubt worry and trauma are best friends that sit on my shoulders. I was not a person who wanted to be loved but I did not know it as I stared into the green forest of my lovers eyes warming to the idea of the concept of a relationship.

Our worlds revolve around each other. We talk and it isn't always something negative. We go to orchestras, raves, museums. With her, my life is full.

"I love you babe," Her eyes were earnest, honest and open. I loved that most about her. I felt like I could trust her, love her too.

"Yeah?" It was the first time she'd said the words to me and I wasn't sure if I could say it back or not.

She put her hands on either side of my cheeks and stared into my eyes earnestly. "Yes," and she kissed me.

Sparks, tingles, waves and vibrations of energy shot through me and I was the one now pushing her backward to straddle her hips and stare down into her eyes.

"I love you too," and I wanted earnestly for it to be genuine and true and right.

I wanted this to all be right. In the back of my mind I wanted something I wasn't sure of what. What could I possibly want more than a loving, caring partner? I had to just be that damaged.. I was crazy to not love this amazing woman.

So I went to therapy and talked and talked And Talked until I was blue and yellow and purple with polka dots. I talked until I realized that I needed to love myself and That was the thing I was missing all of those years I let him brutalize my spirit and body.

Ah yes. Such a simple answer to a complicated and messy question. And Finally I can be whole with her the beauty with gorgeous personality and boundless positive energy.

Life is finally perfect.