Depression Pt 1

StartFragmentDisclaimer: This post includes talk of suicide and depression. Please do not read if it will affect your mental health. Thank you for reading!

I hung the rope on the door. This wasn't my first attempt at a noose but my first time with rope. I was nervous but as the loud gasping of my own sobbing filled the room I realized that this is what I wanted to do. I realized also that this might be the last thing I did. Last breath, last thought. The last plans I made were the last time I'd made them. I knew all this and still wanted it. I sopped pathetically and the rope scraped my skin already so tight I knew instantly if I didn't die my throat would be ruined forever. I persevered and with the noose secure allowed myself to simply dangle. A test of the rope. It choked until tingles filled my face. I was going numb. If I stayed I may have fallen unconscious and died. But fear woke me. Who knew the very thing I despised about myself would keep this life intact? I am thankful I didn't kill myself. But I knew this would not be my last battle with suicide. Despite my moment of darkness I am truly committed to live each day. I definitely have my work cut out for me. Though I realize everyone does and this is something we should recognize.

If you (or a loved one) are battling thoughts of suicide please contact

1-800-273-8255EndFragment